1. **For the Marinara Sauce:** In a medium saucepan, heat 2 Tbsp olive oil over medium heat. Add the diced white onion and cook until softened, about 5-7 minutes. Add the minced garlic and red pepper chili flakes (if using) and cook for another minute until fragrant. Pour in the 28oz can of Cento Marzano Tomatoes and the 8oz can of tomato paste. Stir in the Italian seasoning. Bring to a simmer, then reduce heat and let it gently simmer for at least 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally.
2. **For the Green Ranch:** In a small bowl, combine the sour cream, mayo, juice of 1 lemon, dill, chives, buttermilk, and green food coloring. Whisk until smooth and well combined. Set aside.
3. **For the Monsterella Sticks:** Prepare a dredging station with three shallow bowls. In the first bowl, beat the eggs. In the second, place the flour. In the third, combine the crushed Nacho Cheese Doritos, Cool Ranch Doritos, Crunchy Cheetos, and Sour Cream and Onion Lays.
4. Take each mozzarella stick and double coat it: first dunk in egg, then flour, then egg again, then crushed chips, then egg again, and finally, a generous coating of chips. Ensure each stick is fully covered.
5. Place the coated mozzarella sticks on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Freeze for at least 1 hour (this is crucial for the coating to set).
6. In a deep fryer or a large heavy-bottomed pot, heat peanut oil to 350°F (175°C).
7. Carefully fry the frozen Monsterella Sticks in batches until golden brown and crispy, about 2-3 minutes per batch. Do not overcrowd the pot.
8. Remove the fried sticks with a slotted spoon and place them on a wire rack lined with paper towels to drain excess oil.
9. Serve immediately with the warm Marinara Sauce and chilled Green Ranch for dipping.
